Bullied

When I was a kid, I never stood up for myself. There were many instances where I would be teased, or threatened and I would do absolutely nothing to prevent it. I don't know what was going through my mind, but I have never been in a fight, and never once did I yell back at someone or beat up someone in self defense.

I remember one morning in 6th grade I got on the bus at my bus stop to find all the seats taken. There were literally three kids in every seat except for the occasional overweight child who could only fit with one other kid. And if they were real big, they could only fit themselves. What I would have given to have been one of those real fat ones.

Now, back in middle school, I was around 5 feet tall, and husky. I call it husky because those were the style of pants that I wore. That one morning I was feeling perfectly fine. Not happy, not sad, just fine. As I walked down the long isle looking desperately for a seat before the bus started to move sending me to the floor. I spotted a bench with two fairly skinny black kids in them. Their bench had the most amount of extra room on it, and I figured I would be able to squeeze in without much trouble. I was wrong. "Can I sit here?" "Fuck no." "Come on. There aren't any seats left." "Go find another seat bitch." I gave the sea of pre-teens another scanning. Nothing. The only place where I would have any space to sit was right there with the two skinny kids. So, I sat down.

"Get the fuck up whitey!" "No. There isn't anywhere else to sit." A few seconds pass, and I figure that they accept the fact that I have nowhere else to go. Right when I think I'm home free, I feel four hands on my side and face. They shove me out of the seat and I hit the floor. Someone yells from the back. "Hey, leave that kid alone. He didn't do nothin'!" "Fuck you!" "No, fuck you!!" I sat on the floor with tears in my eyes until the bus arrived at school.

Justice

Just the other night, I awakened from my deep slumber to the sound of a cat scratching at the base of my bed post. I threw back the sheets and hopped out of bed. But to my amazement, a cat I did not see. A blue figure, disproportionate in shape, with arms three times as long as it's legs, and with a head the size of a unripened cantelope, black eyes and what seemed like scars covering it's whole body. As I crept closer, inch by inch, it's eyes turned to meet mine. After peering at me for what seemed like an eternity, it let out a shriek, like nails across a chalkboard, or rusty brakes on an old station wagon. I drew back behind the door, with only my silhouette showing. And as the figure continued to scream, I began to decipher it's howl. "TUI Til I Die!!!!!"

New Maximum Penalty

is ridiculous...

Past few weeks

Since I have been back from tour, I have done next to nothing. I have been looking for a job ever since and have had no luck. There were a few places that have said they need help, but I must not live up to their standards since they haven't called back. Next semester you'll be seeing me back at DSC for college. I don't know what for yet, but it doesn't really matter. I'm only in one band as of right now, well, one legitimate band, which is weird since I'm used to being in two and playing shows all the time. There will probably be some new projects starting up soon despite my return to school. I will also be attending the fest this coming October with some friends, and that should be a good time. First time seeing 7 Seconds, Samiam, Snuff, and Polar Bear Club. If you don't know me too well, you should know that Raised Fist is my favorite band, and they are coming to the U.S. soon so I will be obsessing over that whenever you see me. I started running regularly last Sunday and am working up a siqq tan for the fest. You should be seeing a lot more posting on this blog since I won't be doing a zine for a while, due to my being unemployed. Short stories, long stories, thoughts, and experiences of my life, and made up lives. Bye for now. There Will Be Blood is on.

-T.B./Total Recall

In case you haven't heard...

Patrick Swayze was a good man. Some of you might know him as Dalton, a no-bullshit, tough son of a bitch bouncer from the good old south. I knew him as a friend, and fellow badass. We would often stay up late together watching re-runs of I Love Lucy and MASH while eating un-popped popcorn and drinking whiskey like no tomorrow. But sadly, those times are over. After I found out about his untimely death I decided to pop in Road House for old times sake. What a fucking great movie that is. Mr. Swayze had a good run. He will be missed.

Miss you buddy,
"Pain don't hurt."
-P.S.

COOL.

All the music on my ipod is gone. Looks like I will be listening exclusively to Punch and Weekend Nachos. Oh, and no zine for a while. I don't have a job anymore. If you want to give me money or a job, I wouldn't be opposed.

Back from tour/Zine plans

After 3 months of touring with No Harm Done and Offsides, and I finally home. I can't say that it was all fun and games, because a lot of bad things happened, but for the most part it was a good experience and I wouldn't trade it for a jeek job, or an amy's pizza. Maybe a snapcase reunion. ANYWAYS. Since I won't be touring until November (probably) I am going to start putting together Issue #3 of my zine. I am changing the name from "Demo Tapes & Edge Breaks" to "Reactor" and it will be much bigger and most likely a full page print like a magazine but a lot shittier.

These next few months will be chalk full of biking, working, drumming, hanging out with tyler, and being lazy about writing and interview bands/people.

more updates soon

-Thomas