Life Sucks Scum Fuck

Everyday I hate my job more and more. It's not a very stressful job at all, and I get along fairly well with everyone that I work with. I think I hate it so much because I hate doing the same thing everyday. It's not so much the job that I hate than it is my life. I hate waking up in the same house everyday and I hate paying rent for that house. I enjoy the people that I spend time with and it makes it easier to go on with my shitty life. But what I really want to do is something exciting. Something that will take me to different places and meet different people. Being in a touring band is a good way to do this but it costs a lot of money to fund those trips. Especially when you have other monetary obligations like rent, and other bills. I need to find a job that will let me travel and work at the same time. Maybe I should just start a corporate POP band and live off that for a while. Or maybe I should just start robbing banks. I need to figure something out because I'm really unhappy. Fuck.

Record Store Day

This sunset would look better
If you weren’t spoken for
But I don’t make the rules
At least not anymore

Take me out before I get old
Give me something to dream about
Let the ocean swallow me whole
Swallow me whole, heart and all

Sunday six am is dreadful
Lonely streets and lonely people

Birthday Song

lying on my floor
and staring at the overhead lights
until all i see is white
its my birthday and i can only think about
how much i hate everything
i don’t get a day off from being lonely
its amazing how sounds can be arranged
into so many different ways
and yet there’s so much repetition
originality is misunderstood

Diatribe

religion is
practiced hatred
practiced ignorance
worship blood and money
in suits
worship myths with
inane attributes
a last refuge
of a failure
a distraction
from the self
i may not know who i am
but i know where i stand
and i swear i’ll never kneel again

“Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human
Just another way of distracting yourself
from who you really are.” -GC

Disgust

disgust is all i feel
for what is considered real
my values are just that
my own
i deny perfection
nothing is flawless
the spaces between
the wood painted white
off center like me
and everyone
that isn’t like everyone else

Life vs. Death

this is not for me
stability
responsibility
i hate your values
i reject the bar society sets
endless reproduction
constant numbness
i want nothing of this life
i live not to breathe
but because i breathe
there is too much suffering and death
to justify another’s suffering with life

Drought

i cant cry anymore
its been years since my eyes
shed tears
im drained of moisture from
all these words and music notes
just the other day i went to a funeral
and felt them struggling
punching the walls of my eyes
like a well trained fighter
but none passed the lids
i tried watching a sad movie
i tried thinking of the worst
moments of my life
but theres a drought
and it wont be raining for a while